Articles, images and general fact-nuggetry direct from the mind of Mick Horler
Technohead, crab sticks, Jupiter, you name it I probably like it. I don't like being shot at, U2 or tomato ketchup flavoured crisps however, infact they make me so mad I could spit. Who in their right mind would ever consciously make a ketchup flavoured crisp selection? We've all made the mistake of shoving our hand into a bowl of unidentified crisps assuming them to be ready salted, cheese and onion or salt and vinegar (the big three) only to have our taste buds violated by that most unmistakable flavour of the apocalypse, ketchup. Even dipping them in mayonnaise doesn't mask the repugnant taste, if anything the foulness is merely amplified. Be warned, if the crisp has weird red residue smeared over it and you're sure it isn't a Pringle (you can identify a Pringle by shoving two in your mouth and being able to do that lip thing) I'd steer well clear of the offending snack. Lineker would chuck a bag of ketchup flavoured crisps onto the pitch and crush them into the mud even if he was on the set of the latest Walker's ad. Even dogs won't eat them; they spit them out like worming tablets and will then attempt to savage you to death. I've witnessed a ketchup-flavoured-related deathmatch close-up and I can assure you it's not a pleasant sight. Man and irate dog locked in combat, only this time there's no phone vote to determine the victor.
Other things I don't particularly like include furniture commercials where irritatingly good looking people with odd haircuts jump up and down on sofas in slow motion whilst a guy eerily talks at normal speed. That guy from spandau ballet, his dimples were so sharp they pierced time. An appropriately selected soundtrack is selected to accompany the advert too, usually something like "I want it all" by Queen, implying that if you want it all you must select that particular furniture store. Clever.
